epiphany

it suddenly dawned on me how amazing it is that i have an imprint of myself floating around cyber space. a hazy profile of who i am and what i'm like and exposed to an audience i have no control over. it's such a liberating feeling knowing that i can say something without dealing much with consequences because those who will see it don't really care or they don't exactly undertand. in a way, i can truly BE myself here without fear of judgement. at the same time, i can choose to be someone i'm not and pretend. for all you know, i can be the exact opposite of who i say i am.

for that matter, i can actually choose what to show. what to not reveal and what not to say. because events in the blogosphere don't happen in real time. i can rely on the delete button to erase an unseeming phrase or the fortune of forethought can make me think of what to reveal on my next post. maybe it's just me, but i find familiarity quite burdensome most of the time. i think my friends still don't understand why i prefer solitude over them. i was and always have been the black sheep in my circle of friends.

this must be what it's like to have multiple personalities. in the real world i'm known as michelle. in MY world i'm known as poeta fit, non nascitur and for now i'm quite content to have both.