Saturday, April 9, 2011

To the boy who has stolen my heart

Here's the thing. I like you. I like you a lot. I don't think it's love nor do I also think it's anything less. It's hard to put a label on these feelings when there are so many things not said. All I know is that what we have and what we can have together, as partners and as a couple, could be something great. Already as I write this I know I miss you. When you act cold because of some thing I did or for another reason a cloud hangs over your head, know that all I want to do is hug you and make things better. I want you to tell me things and vice versa. I love how we can laugh and tease each other and make jokes. I love when you tickle me and I act as if I hate it. I love when you are greedy for my attention and I try my hardest to act nonchalant about it. I love the moments where we do touch and I can imagine I am in this world where it's just us and we're together. I love how you want to get to know me more and when you ask me so many hypothetical questions. Basically I just love us being together.

But now, when everyhing is awkward and you stopped talking to me, the ache to touch and talk to you becomes even harder. I don't understand what is going on between us anymore. I don't know why you're mad. I already apologized and it's taking all of my will power not to beg you to talk to me again. Again, I'm sorry. I'm sorry for snapping at you that day. That Thursday was an overload of emotions. We all have our stressful days...

So now, I don't know why you are so distant and a gap is forming between us. Each day that passes where we don't talk, the fear in me that the gap will get bigger also increases.  I hate that we're not talking. I hate that we are not being friends. If what is bothering you right now is this girl you refuse to admit to me when I tease you, then I need to know. My heart can't bear this confusion and uncertainty. Please know that though I may be the only one having these feelings for you, having our friendship, though it can never be enough, is at least something. I want you back in my life. I want us to laugh together and feel at ease with each other again. If you could just tell me what you are thinking and what I need to do to fix things I'd do it. I'll do anything just to have you back. I miss you. How I wish I could tell you half of these things and more. I want to put an end to this craziness so I can finally move on.

(He'll never get to read this but there is something comforting knowing that this sort of love letter is floating around cyber space, a message in a bottle floating in the sea, hoping that if the universe is perfectly aligned and the stars are right and fate is there to help, then maybe just maybeit can reach him so he can finally understand.)

1 comment: said...

Really effective data, thanks for this article.